


24 letters for lou

by livinginsideadream



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21647677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livinginsideadream/pseuds/livinginsideadream
Summary: where louis wakes up on December 1st to find a special letter in his mailbox. 23 more are to follow.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [comedyziam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/comedyziam/gifts).



1st December, 2019 

Dear Louis,

today is Thursday, 17th October. While I was doing my groceries, the store started playing “Can’t help falling in love.” I don’t know why they played it, but for some reason they chose the Hearts & Colours cover and not the Elvis version. It made me think of you, and how you introduced me to that cover. You said that you loved it , so I listened to it when I got home that day. And I cried, because it was so beautiful. So when the store played the song, I felt like crying again. But obviously I didn’t, because you know how it is with public crying.

Next day headline would be “Harry Styles, crying in grocery store. Money problems?”, or something like that. The Sun always manages to make up the weirdest stuff, but I think you know that even better than I do. Anyway, while I was in the store, I got this idea.

It probably is stupid and still I remember you telling me that you never want to hear from me again, but if you’re reading this, then ... well I don’t know. I just hope you haven’t changed addresses, else this could become a big problem. I watched your set from Madrid, by the way. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come, and I don’t know how you manage to keep going.

You’ve always been the strongest person I knew, and that hasn’t changed. And I still love the person that you used to be, and I’m even more in love with the person you have become. I don’t know what you’re gonna do with these letters, if you’re gonna read them or not even open them and simply throw them away. Maybe keep them. That’s up to you.

Harry


	2. 2nd December

2nd December, 2019

Hello Louis,

a few days have passed since I had the idea of writing these to you. Today is the 2nd for you, for me it’s the 21st October. You announced we made it yesterday. I read online that you wrote it 2 1/2 years ago, and that it is about you and the fans, and I can’t stop thinking about the release date. The fans have always been smart, you know. When I talk to them online, which I still do, they are quick to add 1+1 about us.

I wonder if you’re reading these. You’re probably not. I know you received them, but that doesn’t have to mean anything. I miss you. I miss our conversations, even if it was just over the phone. How we’d talk about anything for hours. You were the person I trusted most, the one I told everything. Since you left, I don’t know who to talk to anymore. It’s like I’ve been left empty. I’m trying to forget you, I’m spending a lot of time amongst other people so I don’t think of you. But I still do. Sometimes I stare at the empty inbox of my iMessages, hoping that you do miss me too. Hoping that you’re going to text me, call me.

Well, you’ve listened to my album. Niall told me. To be honest, it surprises me that out of everyone, you are closest to Liam today. I always thought it was either going to be Zayn or Niall. But never Liam. You and Liam always seemed so different. But then again, so were we. Maybe it is true after all: differences complete each other.

You know I’m sorry about what happened. I know you listened to ‘Lights Up.’

Not because Niall told me, which he didn’t. But the song is on the radio non-stop, so I know you heard it. You always used to listen to the radio while driving, always humming along to the song that was playing. I never told you, because I was embarrassed back then, but our car rides comforted me. You driving calmed me in a certain way which I cannot explain. Just knowing you were there put me in a state of mind that told me things were going to be alright. Things are alright now, I guess. I wish things between us were alright though. You keep escaping me, and I just want to talk to you. One more conversation, Louis. It’s all I want, and you want it too.

You’re still my better half, even after all these years.

Harry


	3. 3rd December

3rd December 2019

Dear Louis,

I hope you're doing well. I've been doing alright these past few weeks. Wondering if you heard Watermelon Sugar. I liked the DLIBYH video. Your music videos are special in every way. I got a bit of inspiration with the whole story-telling thing. Maybe you've seen the Eroda advertisements. The things I do to get your attention. I remember us wanting to run away, to escape from everything. You making up that we disappear to a random island nobody's ever heard of before. Isolated from the world, but happy and free. Something we had always wanted to be. Happy and free. I am happy nowadays, I certainly am, but it has never reached the level of happiness I always felt when I was with you. And I know you feel the same.

I'm not free. I like to pretend that I am. I guess I have made some ... progress, but I am not where I want to be. 

You made me realise so many things over the 5 years we spent together. 5 years. God, I wish it would've been longer. But I also know that you couldn't take it anymore. None of us could. The band broke us at one point, when it was supposed to make us happy. I still don't know what went wrong. Maybe, in a different universe, things are different. Life is better. We are free. The band is happy. Don't get me wrong, I love my solo project, but I can't help but feel alone on stage. The fans help, but I still miss the whole thing around it. I'm not talking about it because it hurts. One would never tell from the outside, but nobody actually knows how much I want my bandmates back. How much I want 2010 back. It was so easy back then, sitting on the stairs.

Love,

Harry


	4. 4th December

4th December, 2019

Dear Louis, 

seeing your face hurts. Even after all these years. It hurts to know that you've moved on. I hear it in your songs. The sad thing is, I haven't. I wish things would go back to how they once used to be, but I am very well aware of the fact that this is not going to happen. I was hoping that you would maybe react to these letters, but so far, no reaction. Kinda crushes me, kinda wanted you back. Kinda knew that when you said goodbye in August, it was gonna be goodbye forever. I see what you're doing online. But you were always good with hiding your private life. I have no idea whether you're happy or whether you're crushing behind the façade you're putting on. You still have the façade. We both do. Time, and fame, taught us to put it on whenever something was going on. Just pretend you're okay. Don't let anybody know. Don't let the fans worry. 

Maybe you're better off without me. I hope you are, because that's what you deserve. You deserve better than me. Someone who actually has the time to be with you, someone who appreciates you, someone who loves you for who you are. Not the person you pretend to be. I hope whoever you found, if you found someone, treats you better than I could. I hope they're perfect for you, everything you need, and make you happy. Make you forget about the worries you carry with you every day. 

Love always,

Harry


	5. 5th December

5th December, 2019

Dear Louis,

I was just listening to some French music, when I couldn't help but wonder if you ever continued your lessons. It was always fun to teach you a bit after I had learned it. I know you had it in school, and absolutely hated it. However, I still think it's important to speak another language. First, it looks very ... intelligent, and second I always love the confusion on someones face when you start speaking French. I've become quite good at it, I think. When I was in France recently, I understood a lot what people were saying. Which was pretty dope. Dope. You'd never think this is a word Harry Styles would say. That's just not a Harry Styles thing to say. Not anymore. Harry Styles the adult, the responsible one. Harry Styles, who in reality - just wants to be a kid again. Maybe that's why I love kids so much. Kids are so easily to be satisfied, kids laugh so easily, kids just live life so carefree, without any doubts. I wish I still was that carefree. Instead, I just worry all day, it makes one sick. Things used to be so much easier, but I know I've said that before . It's true though. 

Miss you, 

Harry

PS: I know these are short, but if you're not even reading these, why make a big fuss out of it. 24 letters in your inbox are enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I'm sorry this is not planning as I wanted it to, aka one chapter per day until the 24th, but my December is really busy so that is my only excuse. Once I manage to actually sit down and listen to Harry's new album, I will update this. Thank you and stay tuned. xx


End file.
